Thank you, Olympics!

I'm not watching the Olympics. I don't like sport and anyhow I'd be watching on the 18" TV in the bedroom because my big telly is in the shop and won't be back till the weekend at least. I'm also not watching Eggheads, Pointless, Doctors, Tipping Point or Countdown, most of which have been taken off because of the Olympics.

On the other hand, I've had a very productive day with the TV off: visit to the doc, trip to Killie to see a good photography exhibition, lunch in Newton Mearns, bit of shopping in M&S, back home to a seat outside where I read half a book and blethered with neighbours.

I've only heard the news on Radio 4 the last few days but even just listening to that I have learned that I do not give a rat's arse if somebody lost the keys for Wembley - apparently that's true - or if a Chinese athlete has been taking performance-enhancing drugs - now what a surprise that would be!

So my thanks to the Olympics - and here's to a great fortnight to come with the telly off!

Olympic Trivia

Anybody else notice the difference between the Italian and the GB teams at the opening ceremony?

Italy dressed by Armani. Clothes perfectly fitted and worn with style by the team.

UK dressed by JJB Sports in badly-fitting bling tracksuits. Team looking like bags of spanners.....

Meanwhile at a library near you.....

One of the library clients kicked off the other day: he didn't get instant attention from the staff, who told him there was a queue and he'd have to wait, so he started swearing and shouting: 'f*ck*n *rs*h*l*s - aye, youz cin complain about us but we canny say a wurd aboot youz.'

That's not how it looked to the staff, both women, pretty wee and pretty scared. The other visitors to the library were equally alarmed. The staff phoned the police but, of course, the wee coward dived away as soon as he heard the polis were on their way.

So what do the library staff do now? They write an 'incident report' for head office. And that's that. The gutless wee b****** can swan back in any time he likes safe in the knowledge that nobody will even try to keep him out.

I've been on the receiving end of this kind of treatment myself in the past: teenagers who won't be told, parents whose answer to everything is a shouting match. I only once found it scary but the frustration of dealing with situations like this is terrible. You don't go to your work to deal with this - unless you're a council employee, of course. And don't imagine your employers will back you up: they are at the other end of the city, with a security door and a keypad between them and the nasty side of life.

Good Evening, Russia!

Somebody asked me to post a counter showing how many visitors I've had to the blog so far. I haven't worked out how to do that yet, but I have discovered that the blog has had 938 visits and 18 of them came from Russia.
Do I know anyone in Russia? Has anyone I know been in Russia lately and been so stuck for entertainment they had to call up the ranting old bag's blog in their lonely hotel room in Vladivostock?

Or are we being watched by Smersh or the KGB - or whatever Vlad Putin says they are called these days? Is Homeland Security looking over my shoulder and picking out people from my visitors who could do with a wee break in Guantanamo?

Either way, this ranting old bag is a first class source of information. I can be bought!

TV schedules for the next month

Let's hope the weather picks up, because nobody is going to want to be indoors watching the telly unless they're an Olympics nut:

BBC1 - am and pm Olympics; evening re-runs of the highlights of the day at the Olympics
BBC2 - bits of the Olympics you may have missed on BBC1 + the odd Olympic documentary and endless showings of films about Eric Liddell - who, by the way, wasn't Scottish
ITV -    Corrie and Emmerdale scripts will have a few mentions of the Olympics
C4 -      Come Dine With Me will do an Olympic special
5 -         will run repeats of CSI and NCIS, as usual
Sky 1, 2, 3, Atlantic, News, Arts 1/2/3 - will pretend the Olympics are not happening.

These are not just any slippers....

My M&S slippers have fallen apart. Not 7 months old yet. Given to me by the sister and her man at Xmas. Cost £18.

Just 3 words for M&S: Value For Money.

 

Bradley Wiggins - what a guy!

It's interesting, this: Andy Murray doesn't become the first man to win Wimbledon in what? 80 years and the hype and excitement are amazing to watch. Bradley Wiggins does become the first UK cyclist ever to win the Tour de France - ever! - and somehow the excitement is a wee bit low key. On Facebook, the only person who was punting Bradley as a possible winner was Marcus, my pal on Islay who is a cyclist and runner himself and an avid watcher of the Tour on some remote satellite channel.

So what's this all about?

Cycling is popular in the UK - at least, as far as I can judge from the number of suicidal cyclists on the roads - much more so than tennis. It takes as long to become a champion cyclist as it does to become a tennis champion and it involves as much dedication and hard training, not to mention skill - and - gawd help him - in Bradley's case, he even had to go and live in France and learn the language!

Could it be a class thing? I see plenty of bikes in Glasgow, even in the poorer areas, but the tennis courts are out in leafy suburbia. Or is it a sport blindness thing? If a sport doesn't involve overpaid male footballers (no women need apply) or multi-million pound cars or - dare I say it? - golf (a good walk ruined), then it won't be of any interest to the media.

It'll be interesting to see if Bradley is knighted, as has been suggested today. He deserves it - no question! But what you merit and what you get in the very polarised (and very snobbish) UK these days, well, that's not always the same.

Is it only me...

...that finds technology spooky?
Last month my computer got a virus. I phoned Comet and spent a few minutes on the phone with a very good techie who took control of my screen, removed the virus and installed a Malware virus-killer. We chatted a wee bit: he was in Livingstone, had 2 weans and was fair looking forward to the family holiday in Lanzarote.

Today I handed over my large screen Samsung telly to the Comet guys to take away and fix in some workshop no doubt staffed by gnomes somewhere down south. Tonight, the Virgin box is still happily recording Flashpoint/Primeval/Special Victims - I know, I have very depraved tastes - though who knows if/when I'll ever be able to view whatever I'm recording?

I tried watching the news on the other (wee) telly, which also has a Virgin box, but it stubbornly refused to let me see or record anything. There followed 15 minutes talking to a nice guy ('free - just dial 150 on your Virgin phone!') who re-booted the box remotely and got it working nae bother. He was in Airdrie, used to work with a slabbing firm in Linthouse but saw the way the building trade was going and was really looking forward to a weekend off next week when he'd be going to a crackin party in Bellshill - if anything stretches the imagination, it's the last bit.

Let's not be coy here: this is weird stuff. I think of my Govan granny who only got the electric in 1947 and once wondered to my father if the electricity would leak out of the socket if she took the plug for the radio out of the wall. My Govan grandfather would have loved it all: he was blind and took very badly to being dependant on anyone. The computer would have been right up his street, though I'm not sure how his guide dog - an Alsatian - don't ask, it was his choice - would have liked being replaced by a GPS unit.

And a happy birthday to you too!

I've decided I've had it with birthdays.

I celebrated my 60th and quite enjoyed my spa day with my pals, though in all honesty it was really my retirement 3 days later that had me shouting YEEESSS!!! from the rooftops.

My next birthday has a 6 followed by a 5 - and frankly I'd rather not bother. All it means is a pile of over-priced cards I'll put in the bin the next day. And I'd really like to avoid the 'What would you like for your birthday?' question that always comes up and is usually followed by: 'I don't know - there's nothing I need!' So let's just keep birthdays for the weans. Us adults can do lunch, dinner or a bevy or all three.

If I make it to 100, maybe then I'll think about celebrating though I'll probably be too gaga to notice.

Is it too early for bah humbug??

Plus ça change.....

I saw this speech referred to in today's Herald and vividly remember when Neil Kinnock gave it in 1985 but it resonates today. Take out Thatcher's name and put in Cameron's.

<<If Margaret Thatcher is re-elected as prime minister on Thursday, I warn you.
I warn you that you will have pain–when healing and relief depend upon payment.
I warn you that you will have ignorance–when talents are untended and wits are wasted, when learning is a privilege and not a right.
I warn you that you will have poverty–when pensions slip and benefits are whittled away by a government that won’t pay in an economy that can’t pay.
I warn you that you will be cold–when fuel charges are used as a tax system that the rich don’t notice and the poor can’t afford.
I warn you that you must not expect work–when many cannot spend, more will not be able to earn. When they don’t earn, they don’t spend. When they don’t spend, work dies.
I warn you not to go into the streets alone after dark or into the streets in large crowds of protest in the light.

I warn you that you will be quiet–when the curfew of fear and the gibbet of unemployment make you obedient.
I warn you that you will have defence of a sort–with a risk and at a price that passes all understanding.
I warn you that you will be home-bound–when fares and transport bills kill leisure and lock you up.
I warn you that you will borrow less–when credit, loans, mortgages and easy payments are refused to people on your melting income.
If Margaret Thatcher wins on Thursday–
- I warn you not to be ordinary
- I warn you not to be young
- I warn you not to fall ill
- I warn you not to get old.>>

Kittens!

I may have to remove Geoff Miles from my list of FB Friends, after he sent me this link:

http://www.ustream.tv/sevenkittens

Never thought the day would come when I would sit staring at a video of a kitten sleeping. Get a grip, Niz!

Pedestrians - aarrgghh!!

I dread driving down Mosside Road in Shawlands: 2 sets of lights and kamikaze pedestrians who don't look but just launch themselves across the road between the lights. Happened again today. Then I had to come to a complete halt in Elderpark Street in Govan as a woman walked very slowly across the road in front of me. She never even looked round. Langlands Road is just as bad in term time: 2 schools with manned crossings which are ignored as parents and grandparents run the kids across the road between the crossings.

I'm not a fan of the German approach to jay-walking or the French approach to on-the-spot fines but just occasionally I wish we could try these out. Maybe taking a tenner or 20 quid off people for suicidal crossing might improve behaviour. What's the point in schools doing their bits teaching kids to look both ways before crossing etc if their parents and grandparents ignore the rules - which only exist for their own safety?

I once stopped to help when a pedestrian walked out in front of a van in Paisley Road West just at the Halfway. The pedestrian was bruised but ok. The van driver was distraught, physically sick in fact - and was facing a long evening at the nearby police station giving a statement and then more time explaining to his boss, not to mention his family. I'm sure the shock stayed with him - it did with me.

The Olympics will run and run.....

I was going to have a rant about the Olympics and how, yet again, the UK is managing to turn what should be a great sporting and commercial event into a shambles. It's just so easy a target, I don't know where to start. Torches on sale on eBay. Tickets not on sale at all. Non-existant security. So I'm not going to bother having a go today. Worry not - the way things are looking, I'll have loads more opportunities in the next month.

Dull, dull, dull.....

No, not the weather, though it is! This week's News Statesman is edited by David Milliband (the other one) and, boy, it's dull.....also heavy, humourless and l-o-n-g.....Maybe that's why some people write magazines and others become politicians.

Get your bento box here!

So what do the young and well-off do in Giffnock on a Saturday afternoon? They go to Whole Foods and queue up to eat Japanese food in bento boxes. The food is cooked in front of them and they eat at a fancy counter on high stools. And they pay through the nose for the experience.

Suckers.

A bento box in Japan is your bog standard packed lunch. Comes in a wee plastic box split into about 5 sections with simple but delicious food: sticky rice, some veg, salad, small portion of meat or fish or tofu, maybe some thick edamame sauce. You can buy a bento box at thousands and thousands of outlets in every town and city. They can also be delivered. And they cost next to nothing.

Still, the shop was jumping - hardly a parking space to be had - and I suppose the good folk of Giffnock are getting to practise their chopstick skills!

Nostalgia ain't wot it used to be.....

I'm not into nostalgia: just because something happened 50 years ago doesn't mean it was any good. But one area that's changed for the worse is - yes - you heard it here first: football!

A boy at my school on the southside of Glasgow was signed by Rangers at age 17. He spent 4 years at Ibrox and never made it to the first team. But he did get sent to college and qualified as a CA and went on to have a pretty successful business career. I dare say for every star footballer that was spotted by the Rangers scouts, another dozen boys were signed every year - and had the same great future guaranteed.

I grew up in Copland Road - at the other end from where the stadium was. On home Saturdays, huge crowds of guys walked down the street to get the bus or tram in Govan Road. As they passed, us weans would shout: 'Mister, did yer team win?' If it did, we quite often got pennies from the passing fans. Try doing that now and watch how fast Social Work are on to you! But my point is: the fans were mostly local guys supporting the local team. And they were mainly working men. And they were faithful.

Then the community link was lost: players were bought rather than scouted and tickets prices shot up to pay wages and transfer fees. Fans then had to be pretty well-off or paid for by corporate sponsors. Wee boys didn't get the chance to be lifted over the turnstiles so they could grow up watching Rangers with their dads and brothers.

Maybe now the owners of newco Rangers can accept the blindingly bleedin' obvious: they can't play with the big boys in Europe. That kind of money doesn't exist in Scotland. But they can sign local boys and build up a team to be proud of.

Of course, the football bubble had to burst: I believe transfer fees have dropped about 50% across Europe in the last three years and silly wages are less likely to be paid now. But I'm sorry it was Rangers that got caught out first. I'm not interested in football, but I am interested in the community Ibrox Stadium sits in - it needs the jobs and business - not to mention the sense of pride - football brings with it.

And another thing!

At the library today, I was filling in our timesheet and said to my buddy Charles: O look, it's the glorious 12th of July! Yes, said Charles: Nice day for a walk!
I wish people could take Charles's attitude: have a laugh at it. Instead, I've discovered half my Facebook friends are wishing me a happy 12th of July and posting videos of flute bands and the other half are roundly denouncing the Orange Order and all it stands for.

Agreed, it's a fairly primitive way to assert the Proddies' supremacy over the Caffliks, but the marching season is very short, there's little criminality these days and gey few folk actually subscribe to this nonsense. If I have a reservation, it's about the number of young women now involved in the Orange Order.

I can only hope education will triumph in the end: schools will keep on pushing tolerance - of all groups - and then we can all ignore this kind of tribalism.

It's All My Fault!

Yes, I admit it: the state of the country, the coalition, the Olympics fiasco, the bank collapse, the Eurozone, youth unemployment - it's all my fault!
I had the nerve to be born just after the second World War ended and just as the Welfare State was being set up. Think of all the free vaccinations, orange juice and cold liver oil I got. Why, I even got my tonsils out for nowt - well, actually, most of us did in those days!

I was born into a room and kitchen in Govan where 5 of us lived - it was cosy! Then we were 'decanted' (that was the word that was used - like fine wine. eh?!) to a big new flat in Pollok.

I got a free education till I was 18 and a grant - yes, children, they gave me money to send me from my council estate to a university. I managed to get 2 degrees and a diploma before I was done. The next bit isn't so cheery: 20 years as a teacher at a time when teachers were dramatically badly paid followed by 15 years as an adviser. We were better paid latterly, but then I paid tax at 30%. I reckon in both jobs I worked an average 55 hour week. I also did a few extra bits, like producing school shows, organising school trips, giving up weekends to run in service, etc.  Just the same as a lot of folk who work in the public service.

I also managed to buy a place to live - not a 'property'! - and I did my best to support my family too.

Still, now I've reached retirement, I'm really coining it in! I have 2 pensions: I paid into them both, of course - maybe about 12% of my wages for my entire working life - and I'm still paying tax at 20%. I also pay vat and council tax - but, joy o joy - I get a winter fuel allowance, free prescriptions and a free bus pass. Which is just as well, since I'm getting b*gg*r all interest from my savings.

But I'm living too long. I expect to be looked after by the welfare state I've paid for. I want to live on in my own home even if that means home care being provided. I'm sucking the life out of the country.

I suppose it's all about priorities: I see the contempt shown to the elderly and disabled (and we're all likely to end up both) and the utter fixation on yoof culchur, and I hold out no great hopes for the future.....

The Birds Strike Back!

It's like a scene out of The Birds round here right now - and the noise!

The Council put all sorts of stuff on the roof of the police station round the corner to stop gulls nesting a few years back so now they nest on our roofs and attack people. We have to pay a company to come and remove the nests and put up those wee spiky things to stop them landing. Of course we pay: this is East Ren - nothing is free here!

The workmen came yesterday and did their stuff, getting attacked as they worked. But today I spotted a well grown chick on the ground, and a small flock of adults flying around it. And I know we're in trouble!

Of course, the gulls don't realise these are buildings with people living in them - they think this is a cliff face, their usual habitat. Of course, they like being here because there are 14 restaurants and 9 takeaways just round the corner and there's always food lying about.

But I HATE GULLS! 

Try this!

Faithful readers - you are even sadder than me - I only write the stuff - usually in a temper - but you are actually taking the time and trouble to read it and reply!

Anyhoo - I've set it so anyone can comment and there's no word test. Just need somebody to try it!

   Cut 2p off the price of milk paid to the farmers? I don't think so!

Irony schmirony.....

Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm impressed: John Terry's defence is that he did use racist language against a black player on the pitch but he did it ironically.....so that makes it ok then. Here's a wee bit of irony for John Terry: you are an ignorant, uneducated, emotionally stunted yahoo and football would be better off without you.

"News"

Browsing the net to avoid the tennis, I've discovered that the reason Tom Cruise's marriage has broken up is that he's been having an affair with - yes! - David Beckham. The authority for this is said to be 'online gossip' which also gives Beckham's profession as 'underwear model.'

I love the internet!

Weekend Reading

I like Time magazine: gives me an idea what's happening in the US, not too heavy, not too long. I also take New Statesman, so I know what long and heavy feel like.....

But once in a while I realise why the US is different from the UK: in this week's Time, 13 pages out of 52 are devoted to what I can only call free adverts for Apple, Starbucks and professional (women's) tennis. Add these to 7 full pages of adverts for Rolex etc - and there's not a lot of reading space left.

Btw, if you're a 'grammar Nazi', you'll like Nick Lezard's page in New Statesman this week, in which he meets a philosophy lecturer who thinks 'pronounciation' is a word and 'Day car' is a French philosopher.....

Today at Wombledon

To Andy Murray - and especially his parents - congratulations and good luck in the final!

To the rest of the UK - KEEP THE HEID!

Just watched Michael Johnson's documentary on C4 about the influence of slavery on genetic selection - in other words, why are black people faster runners? Short answer: no one knows. But it strikes me this would be a very good subject for research, if only to work out why the genes that produce superb sprinters also produce large numbers of people with diabetes.

Meanwhile, I think 'Joseph Knight' by James Robertson should be compulsory reading for all secondary school students - and their teachers, so that people in Scotland and the wider UK can understand better our role in the slavery business, the cruellest imaginable of trades. It would also make a splendid film.

Parliamentary politeness goes too far.....

I watched the Diamond geezer being 'questioned' by MPs today. At one point, in response to a fairly simple question, he started on a long and tortuous answer. When the committee muttered a protest, he raised his forefinger and said "If I may - this is important....." and carried on.

Where was the chairman of the committee? Why didn't he interrupt with a well-placed: 'No, Mr Diamond, WE'LL tell YOU what's important. Answer the question.'

Result: Diamond walked away without giving answers to any of the questions we all want to put. I despair. I utterly despair. Has Parliament lost its cojones? If MPs can't ask exercise their authority and demand straight answers, we'll never get to the bottom of the banking fiasco. On this showing, I certainly don't trust MPs to conduct an enquiry. Hand it over to the police and the judges - preferably from outside London.

And I suppose this is service too.....

I've bought a lot of stuff from Comet over the years. Not that their stuff is any different from anybody else's but their salespeople are knowledgeable and they offer an excellent home repair service, if you take out an extended warranty with them.

The Comet engineer came to fix my telly at lunchtime. Took him no more than 15 minutes. He was pleasant, efficient and knew his stuff. As he was leaving, he said the home service would be finishing at the end of August.

Comet has been bought over by a company called Capita which is stripping out all the services that cost money, including home repairs. In future, my telly will have to be packed up (by me), handed to a courier and sent off to a workshop down south. If what happened with my computer is anything to go by when it went back to Acer, it'll take up to 3 weeks to get it back and they won't have fixed it.

More than that, 500 engineers are being made redundant across the UK. These are mainly older guys, apprentice-served tradesmen, well-trained and good with customers. My guy has been with the company for 29 years. So far, he's had one interview, with Asda for a general handyman job - 20 hours at 6.18 an hour - and he doesn't think he's got it because nobody has phoned him back.

Desperate times. But I suppose the Comet shareholders will be happy.

Stereotyping - I think so!

This was last week's front page on New Statesman. I'm told it's meant to be Angela Merkel as Terminator - offensive enough, but I thought it was 7 of 9, the Borg from Star Trek - and I found the suggestion she's a mindless clone even more offensive.

Of course, lots of us complained and an article has appeared this week rebuking NS for its racial stereotyping (it hasn't gone down well in Germany) and giving the German point of view of the Eurozone crisis

Question: at what point do intelligent people talk without insulting each other?