I have somehow picked up a 'follower' on this blog.
No idea who it is but from the comments I take it this is someone using machine translation. Why would someone want to leave messages on a blog they probably don't fully understand? And what's the point of commenting on a blog by posting compliments to the writer rather than leaving views on what the writer has said?
But then, there's a lot about the internet that I don't understand.
Like why people who are worried about their privacy join Facebook and post photos and family information.
Why a couple of my friends send me jokes via email, leave in their own address and phone number but ask me to remove these if I'm posting the jokes on and get annoyed if I forget. You're dealing with a 65 year old here. If you want the info removed, do it yourself before you send me the jokes.
Why it's dangerous to have multiple accounts on Facebook. One of my friends has 4 at the last count, all used for different purposes - games, etc - and so far, he's still alive and unhacked.
Why it's now also considered dangerous to have multiple email addresses. I have several. They have never been hacked. I've had one suspect message to one of these dormant addresses and no, I didn't post the sender the two thousand quid he was asking for. I may have lost a lot of brain cells in my life but not that many.
But my favourite has to be people who 'stumble across' porn sites when looking for perfectly innocent stuff on the net. Never in many years online have I 'stumbled across' porn. I suspect what these people mean is they keyed in 'hot Russian babes' just to see what would happen and were then horrified at what they saw.
Tuesday 26 March 2013
Benefits or handouts?
The words 'benefits' and 'welfare' have now replaced the phrase 'social security' in the UK. So the social security system (which is what it's called in other EU countries) is now the benefits system, the benefits people get are now called welfare - and it all has that wee suggestion in the press and on TV that what we're talking about here are handouts - something for nothing.
I worked from the age of 15 to the age of 60, paying national insurance, tax, VAT and council tax as I went along. I'm outraged to see that my pension is now referred to as a 'benefit' rather than a form of insurance I paid into for 45 years. And I'll bet the people now having to ask for jobseeker's allowance because they've lost their jobs in the recession are equally mad at being described as 'scroungers' getting handouts.
It looks to me like the people who are getting the blame for everything that's wrong with the UK right now are people who receive benefits and immigrants. I've been reading quite a lot about both sets of people and I've decided there are some whopping great lies being told about them:
It's NOT true that fraud accounts for 27% of benefits claims, as Brits seem to think in opinion polls. The real figure is 0.7%.
It's NOT true that 47% of the total social security bill is for unemployent payments. It's a maximum of 5%.
It's NOT true that the people who get all the benefits are the unemployed. 60% of working families get benefits because their wages are so low they can't live on them.
It's NOT true that people with large families are soaking the state for millions. There are 300 families in the whole UK with more than 12 children. They get additional housing benefit at the moment - but that's about to be capped at £500 a week. And, of course, housing benefit doesn't go to claimants - it goes to their landlords. But don't get me started on housing: we could be here all day discussing the shortage of social housing in the UK, the bedroom tax, etc.
It's NOT true that the UK is over-run by millions of immigrants. Over the past ten years, 10-14
million UK citizens lived outside the UK, while 10-14 million foreigners came here.
It's NOT true that the UK attracts more immigrants than any other EU country. Of the 27 EU countries, the UK is 14th in the table of immigration.
It's NOT true that 2 million Polish people have come to the UK since Poland joined the EU to get benefits. The total number of Polish people claiming jobseeker's allowance is about 14,000. Polish people come to the UK to work.
Yes, we have very serious problems in the UK: for example, too many of our young people (especially boys) leave school without qualifications. Not only are they unable to compete in the EU job market, they can't even meet the entry requirements for the most basic jobs in the UK. We're also exporting far too many of our highly educated young people. We need them working in the UK and paying their taxes here.
We have an ageing population: I'm from the babyboomer generation and worked knowing that my taxes supported the last generation. Now there are many fewer young people working to support me. And it'll be worse for the next generation unless we can find a way to retain our talented young people and some of the immigrants living in the UK now.
The UK is also the 4th most unequal society in the world, with the gap between the rich and the poor growing every year.
So what's to be done? Well, you'll maybe have sussed that I don't think what the Coalition is doing is particularly helpful. Mind you, I don't see that the Labour Party (of which I am a member) has much to offer right now (are they for or against the bedroom tax, for example?). Watching Osborne in parliament delivering his budget I remembered that tired old saying: When you're in a hole, stop digging.....Maybe time to look at what's being done in other countries: Germany, for example, or the USA, Canada, Australia. The first two are recovering well from the recession and the second two avoided the recession altogether.
I worked from the age of 15 to the age of 60, paying national insurance, tax, VAT and council tax as I went along. I'm outraged to see that my pension is now referred to as a 'benefit' rather than a form of insurance I paid into for 45 years. And I'll bet the people now having to ask for jobseeker's allowance because they've lost their jobs in the recession are equally mad at being described as 'scroungers' getting handouts.
It looks to me like the people who are getting the blame for everything that's wrong with the UK right now are people who receive benefits and immigrants. I've been reading quite a lot about both sets of people and I've decided there are some whopping great lies being told about them:
It's NOT true that fraud accounts for 27% of benefits claims, as Brits seem to think in opinion polls. The real figure is 0.7%.
It's NOT true that 47% of the total social security bill is for unemployent payments. It's a maximum of 5%.
It's NOT true that the people who get all the benefits are the unemployed. 60% of working families get benefits because their wages are so low they can't live on them.
It's NOT true that people with large families are soaking the state for millions. There are 300 families in the whole UK with more than 12 children. They get additional housing benefit at the moment - but that's about to be capped at £500 a week. And, of course, housing benefit doesn't go to claimants - it goes to their landlords. But don't get me started on housing: we could be here all day discussing the shortage of social housing in the UK, the bedroom tax, etc.
It's NOT true that the UK is over-run by millions of immigrants. Over the past ten years, 10-14
million UK citizens lived outside the UK, while 10-14 million foreigners came here.
It's NOT true that the UK attracts more immigrants than any other EU country. Of the 27 EU countries, the UK is 14th in the table of immigration.
It's NOT true that 2 million Polish people have come to the UK since Poland joined the EU to get benefits. The total number of Polish people claiming jobseeker's allowance is about 14,000. Polish people come to the UK to work.
Yes, we have very serious problems in the UK: for example, too many of our young people (especially boys) leave school without qualifications. Not only are they unable to compete in the EU job market, they can't even meet the entry requirements for the most basic jobs in the UK. We're also exporting far too many of our highly educated young people. We need them working in the UK and paying their taxes here.
We have an ageing population: I'm from the babyboomer generation and worked knowing that my taxes supported the last generation. Now there are many fewer young people working to support me. And it'll be worse for the next generation unless we can find a way to retain our talented young people and some of the immigrants living in the UK now.
The UK is also the 4th most unequal society in the world, with the gap between the rich and the poor growing every year.
So what's to be done? Well, you'll maybe have sussed that I don't think what the Coalition is doing is particularly helpful. Mind you, I don't see that the Labour Party (of which I am a member) has much to offer right now (are they for or against the bedroom tax, for example?). Watching Osborne in parliament delivering his budget I remembered that tired old saying: When you're in a hole, stop digging.....Maybe time to look at what's being done in other countries: Germany, for example, or the USA, Canada, Australia. The first two are recovering well from the recession and the second two avoided the recession altogether.
Sunday 24 March 2013
Brrrr!
My heating has been on almost constantly since last Sunday and I'm starting to worry about the bill a wee bit. It's not something I usually bother about: I'm lucky enough to have a pension coming in so I can pay my bills. But I can remember being poor enough 30 years ago to worry about whether I'd make it through the winter financially, even though I was working in a so-called professional job.
That's one of the reasons I left Glasgow in the first place. But once I moved to Argyll I discovered just how expensive life is in the country. Food, fuel, travel - everything is dearer. Residents of the countryside in Scotland pay dearly for the luxury of living in a beautiful landscape.
Not that some people will have problems paying for their power this weekend: bits of Ayrshire, Dumfries & Galloway, Argyll and all of Arran have had snowdrifts up to 15 feet deep. Power lines are down and people have had no light or heat since Friday morning. In some places, food and fuel supplies are cut off for now. Main roads are closed.
Contingency plans have swung into action. Generators have got to Campbeltown and Brodick by boat and the lights are coming back on there. Most of Islay is re-connected. Most islands have had their normal Calmac service or will have tomorrow, so food is getting through. The ferry Hebridean Isles that brought generators over the weekend will tomorrow bring food and fuel supplies to Arran and Kintyre.
My record for being without power is 5 days in Islay and 3 days in Sandbank (near Dunoon). It's hard to describe how awful it is to be without power in the countryside. It's only the well-off - and a few businesses - that have stand-alone generators. The temperature starts off 2 degrees - or more - lower than in built-up areas. It only takes about 24 hours for damp to start to encroach on most houses. You probably have a well-stocked freezer but that will only be of use for a limited time as your food starts to go off. If you have a gas heater, you know it will eventually run out so you try not to use it too much - and while it's running it makes you feel slightly woozy anyway. If you have a multi-purpose stove, you're laughing - till the fuel runs out. There's the added suspense of not knowing how long this experience will last. You're trapped in the one room with the heat. Showers and baths are out and it takes courage to wash in cold water. You have candles and maybe primus stoves but candles give you a headache and primus stoves run out. If you have elderly family members, you worry all the time that they will get cold.
The emergency in the west of Scotland - beacause that's what it is - has occupied papers, TV and radio all weekend, but soon interest will wane, we'll all think the problem has been dealt with and we'll move on to the next topic. But I would ask when you get to Friday coming, when the next weather front is forecast to come in, take a moment to ask yourself if all of the people without heat, light, food and fuel have got their lives back to normal. Despite the sterling efforts of Calmac, SSE and the Hydro - I doubt it.
That's one of the reasons I left Glasgow in the first place. But once I moved to Argyll I discovered just how expensive life is in the country. Food, fuel, travel - everything is dearer. Residents of the countryside in Scotland pay dearly for the luxury of living in a beautiful landscape.
Not that some people will have problems paying for their power this weekend: bits of Ayrshire, Dumfries & Galloway, Argyll and all of Arran have had snowdrifts up to 15 feet deep. Power lines are down and people have had no light or heat since Friday morning. In some places, food and fuel supplies are cut off for now. Main roads are closed.
Contingency plans have swung into action. Generators have got to Campbeltown and Brodick by boat and the lights are coming back on there. Most of Islay is re-connected. Most islands have had their normal Calmac service or will have tomorrow, so food is getting through. The ferry Hebridean Isles that brought generators over the weekend will tomorrow bring food and fuel supplies to Arran and Kintyre.
My record for being without power is 5 days in Islay and 3 days in Sandbank (near Dunoon). It's hard to describe how awful it is to be without power in the countryside. It's only the well-off - and a few businesses - that have stand-alone generators. The temperature starts off 2 degrees - or more - lower than in built-up areas. It only takes about 24 hours for damp to start to encroach on most houses. You probably have a well-stocked freezer but that will only be of use for a limited time as your food starts to go off. If you have a gas heater, you know it will eventually run out so you try not to use it too much - and while it's running it makes you feel slightly woozy anyway. If you have a multi-purpose stove, you're laughing - till the fuel runs out. There's the added suspense of not knowing how long this experience will last. You're trapped in the one room with the heat. Showers and baths are out and it takes courage to wash in cold water. You have candles and maybe primus stoves but candles give you a headache and primus stoves run out. If you have elderly family members, you worry all the time that they will get cold.
The emergency in the west of Scotland - beacause that's what it is - has occupied papers, TV and radio all weekend, but soon interest will wane, we'll all think the problem has been dealt with and we'll move on to the next topic. But I would ask when you get to Friday coming, when the next weather front is forecast to come in, take a moment to ask yourself if all of the people without heat, light, food and fuel have got their lives back to normal. Despite the sterling efforts of Calmac, SSE and the Hydro - I doubt it.
Wednesday 20 March 2013
A penny off the pint - wow!
I don't know about you but I was hoping today's budget would bring a re-think of the current government's approach to the economy. I've read so much about the measures being taken in the USA, Canada and the EU, and so many economists have expressed concern at the direction the UK is taking, it looked as if we might get, not a u-turn but a slight hesitation on the part of the Treasury. Not a bit of it. As far as I can see, it's onward and downward, as before.
Just a couple of examples: I can't decide which is more offensive, the attempt to buy votes by raising the tax threshold or cutting 1p off a pint of beer.
Who'll benefit from the tax threshold rising to £10,000? Pensioners, of course. Big thing about pensioners: they exercise their right to vote. And some of them vote Tory.
Why bother cutting a penny off a pint of beer? A sop to the brewing trade and the licensing business who say 18 pubs are shutting every week. Will it make a difference? Not likely.
If you're not a pensioner or a beer drinker, but ordinary working people with a family, most of the news is bad: you can borrow your deposit for a house interest-free but the house has to be a new-build. No help with selling your old house, of course, which is likely to be in negative equity and remains the biggest problem most people face when trying to move house. If you work in the public sector your wages will go on being frozen till 2016, so you can look forward to what is in fact a pay cut of 10% - on top of the 10% pay cut you've already had over the past 3 years. You might be in line for a childcare allowance of £1,200 a year - but only if both parents are working. I love the way the budget announcement said parents would only be eligible for this allowance if they earned 'less than
If you're doing well and earning plenty, your top rate of tax is being cut from 50% to 45%. What a boon that must be to those people earning over £42,000 a year. Just remind me what proportion of the population is that? But, of course, these people may just vote Tory too so they have to be kept sweet.
The banking crisis and the recession were man-made catastrophes. I'd like to think we can fix them, but this is not the way.
Just a couple of examples: I can't decide which is more offensive, the attempt to buy votes by raising the tax threshold or cutting 1p off a pint of beer.
Who'll benefit from the tax threshold rising to £10,000? Pensioners, of course. Big thing about pensioners: they exercise their right to vote. And some of them vote Tory.
Why bother cutting a penny off a pint of beer? A sop to the brewing trade and the licensing business who say 18 pubs are shutting every week. Will it make a difference? Not likely.
If you're not a pensioner or a beer drinker, but ordinary working people with a family, most of the news is bad: you can borrow your deposit for a house interest-free but the house has to be a new-build. No help with selling your old house, of course, which is likely to be in negative equity and remains the biggest problem most people face when trying to move house. If you work in the public sector your wages will go on being frozen till 2016, so you can look forward to what is in fact a pay cut of 10% - on top of the 10% pay cut you've already had over the past 3 years. You might be in line for a childcare allowance of £1,200 a year - but only if both parents are working. I love the way the budget announcement said parents would only be eligible for this allowance if they earned 'less than
£150,000'. In my family, all working like dogs, by the way, we'd love a top-notch combined income of
£50,000!
If you're doing well and earning plenty, your top rate of tax is being cut from 50% to 45%. What a boon that must be to those people earning over £42,000 a year. Just remind me what proportion of the population is that? But, of course, these people may just vote Tory too so they have to be kept sweet.
The banking crisis and the recession were man-made catastrophes. I'd like to think we can fix them, but this is not the way.
Tuesday 19 March 2013
Support Fenwick Deli!
I went to Fenwick today to meet someone for lunch at the hotel and very nice it was too. I always forget these days with the 'new' road how fast the journey from my house to Fenwick is so, as usual, I got there early. Instead of sitting in the hotel carpark freezing, I doubled back and paid a visit to the Fenwick Deli on the village main street. I've passed it a few times and had heard the story of the man who has achieved his dream of opening a fine food shop in the village.
The book group is coming to my house for lunch on Friday and I'd already decided I would give them a very simple dish Nan and I had in Fuerteventura: cheese, ham, salami and olives.
So I got Brie de Meaux, a hard cheese from Cork I can't remember the name of, Brunswick ham, Serrano, Italian salami, olives stuffed with almonds, olives marinated in chilis, a red pepper dip and a huge jar of chili jam to go with it. All locally sourced - the chili jam is made by a woman who lives round the corner.
They had lovely bread but I resisted because it wouldn't keep so I'll get the bread from Whole Foods on Friday morning. The cheeses are now sitting out and they smell great. By Friday they should be walking off the table unaided!
Total cost: 25 quid - for a meal for 6 people.
The Deli also has a sitt-inerry and a sit-ootery and serves good coffee, soup and snacks. In fact, we may have our next lunch there - if it's stopped snowing by then and the temperature has risen above zero!
Good luck to these folk in their business. And do visit them if you're passing!
The book group is coming to my house for lunch on Friday and I'd already decided I would give them a very simple dish Nan and I had in Fuerteventura: cheese, ham, salami and olives.
They had lovely bread but I resisted because it wouldn't keep so I'll get the bread from Whole Foods on Friday morning. The cheeses are now sitting out and they smell great. By Friday they should be walking off the table unaided!
Total cost: 25 quid - for a meal for 6 people.
The Deli also has a sitt-inerry and a sit-ootery and serves good coffee, soup and snacks. In fact, we may have our next lunch there - if it's stopped snowing by then and the temperature has risen above zero!
Good luck to these folk in their business. And do visit them if you're passing!
Saturday 16 March 2013
Fuerte!
We loved Fuerteventura, but loved the stories we heard from locals even better: like the man who started to build a large block of holiday flats. It was pointed out to him he had broken the height restrictions imposed by the local authority and he would have to take the flats down. He's been doing that for 8 years now: one brick a month.....
All over the island, there are road signs warning drivers about deer or cattle on the road. There are no deer or cattle wandering free on the island but lots and lots of goats. It's just that the local authority didn't have any signs warning about goats.....
Thursday 7 March 2013
Home is.....?
Like a lot of people living on their own, I dread the thought of losing my independence and having to go and live a place where other folk make my decisions for me. I've always admired my neighbours and the library clients I visit for their determination to stay in their own home. for as long as they can.
But today we met up again with Lena, a library client in her 80s. She's a remarkable woman, the kind of person you know could have carved out a niche in life for herself if only she'd been able to have an education. She has a close-knit family and we've met a few of them, including her drink- and drug- addicted son who has spent time in jail. Lena doesn't judge him. She has explained to us that when her son was wee, she spent most of her time working. Nothing else for it. She feels she neglected him. He wasn't even ready for school (toilet-trained) when she sent him off. Many other mothers probably feel they've been in the same position.
Lena reads Dickens, Hardy, Austen, Fielding and George Eliott - not to mention modern classics like Evelyn Waugh, Margaret Atwood and Roddy Doyle. She'll try anything. She now has very bad eyesight, so her experience of literature comes via talking books, anything up to 12 a week.
Before Christmas, Lena got ill with emphysema, despite her grand-daughter's best offorts to get her off the fags and she ended up in hospital. Ten weeks in the Southern General finished off an elderly friend of mine the year before last, so I wasn't hopeful for Lena. But there she was today, discharged 5 weeks ago to Florence House in Drumoyne. Nicely dressed, hair done and with the biggest smile you can imagine when she heard her library folk come in.
We'll be delighted to go in to see her every week, bringing our choice of books for her to listen to as we have done for the past three years.
I think Florence House is a council-run facility. If that's the case, I have to say the council are getting some things right, despite the rest of us moaning about them. The atmosphere is great, the staff are friendly and caring, and Lena is happy.
Just what I want for myself.
But today we met up again with Lena, a library client in her 80s. She's a remarkable woman, the kind of person you know could have carved out a niche in life for herself if only she'd been able to have an education. She has a close-knit family and we've met a few of them, including her drink- and drug- addicted son who has spent time in jail. Lena doesn't judge him. She has explained to us that when her son was wee, she spent most of her time working. Nothing else for it. She feels she neglected him. He wasn't even ready for school (toilet-trained) when she sent him off. Many other mothers probably feel they've been in the same position.
Lena reads Dickens, Hardy, Austen, Fielding and George Eliott - not to mention modern classics like Evelyn Waugh, Margaret Atwood and Roddy Doyle. She'll try anything. She now has very bad eyesight, so her experience of literature comes via talking books, anything up to 12 a week.
Before Christmas, Lena got ill with emphysema, despite her grand-daughter's best offorts to get her off the fags and she ended up in hospital. Ten weeks in the Southern General finished off an elderly friend of mine the year before last, so I wasn't hopeful for Lena. But there she was today, discharged 5 weeks ago to Florence House in Drumoyne. Nicely dressed, hair done and with the biggest smile you can imagine when she heard her library folk come in.
We'll be delighted to go in to see her every week, bringing our choice of books for her to listen to as we have done for the past three years.
I think Florence House is a council-run facility. If that's the case, I have to say the council are getting some things right, despite the rest of us moaning about them. The atmosphere is great, the staff are friendly and caring, and Lena is happy.
Just what I want for myself.
Time for the jobby test!
I got my letter in today about the bowel screening test, which I like to think of as the jobby test. I've done this once before and having had a couple of scares and a couple of nasty bowel tests in my time, I'm happy to go on doing it, even if it is what one of my friends called 'gross'.
All I want to do here is to encourage everybody who refused to take part last time to join the rest of us this time - especially the guys. I know of 4 cases personally: two of the guys refused to do the test and were later found to have bowel cancer but it had spread to the prostate and their prognosis is not so good. Two others had the test, were found to have bowel cancer and have since had treatment and are fine.
So don't mess about, guys - just do it - if not for yourself, for your families.
All I want to do here is to encourage everybody who refused to take part last time to join the rest of us this time - especially the guys. I know of 4 cases personally: two of the guys refused to do the test and were later found to have bowel cancer but it had spread to the prostate and their prognosis is not so good. Two others had the test, were found to have bowel cancer and have since had treatment and are fine.
So don't mess about, guys - just do it - if not for yourself, for your families.
Tuesday 5 March 2013
Is this news?
I was watching Michael Moore's Slacker Uprising tonight about the US presidential election of 2004 and only later heard that Hugo Chavez, president of Venezuela (democratically-elected president, I should add) has died after a two-year battle with cancer.
The US government saw Chavez as public enemy number 2 in their backyard, after the Castro brothers in Cuba. Hard to think of the continents of North and South America as the USA's backyard but that's how it is. Venezuela is not just an independent state with Chavez as a left-leaning president but it's an oil-producing state, whereas Cuba is just a potential oil-producing state.
So I switched on the TV. Sky has handed over to CNN, which is trumpeting the all time high in the US stock market. Second item is that mental health facilities are closing all over the US and sick people are ending up in jail as a result. So in the US the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting dumped in jail. No surprise there.
The BBC has handed over to Singapore to talk about the stock market in Japan. Second item: Dame Helen Mirren in a stage version of The Queen. I happen to know there is a huge controversy going on in Singapore about the purpose and form of education there. Not a word on the news.
This is why I watch films like Slacker Uprising: how else would I know what's going on in the world?
The US government saw Chavez as public enemy number 2 in their backyard, after the Castro brothers in Cuba. Hard to think of the continents of North and South America as the USA's backyard but that's how it is. Venezuela is not just an independent state with Chavez as a left-leaning president but it's an oil-producing state, whereas Cuba is just a potential oil-producing state.
So I switched on the TV. Sky has handed over to CNN, which is trumpeting the all time high in the US stock market. Second item is that mental health facilities are closing all over the US and sick people are ending up in jail as a result. So in the US the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting dumped in jail. No surprise there.
The BBC has handed over to Singapore to talk about the stock market in Japan. Second item: Dame Helen Mirren in a stage version of The Queen. I happen to know there is a huge controversy going on in Singapore about the purpose and form of education there. Not a word on the news.
This is why I watch films like Slacker Uprising: how else would I know what's going on in the world?
Sunday 3 March 2013
Tina's Zoo
We were late getting to Tina's on Thursday.
Charles and I had been leafleting in Govan. Or rather, I was driving and Charles was leafleting, turning on the charm to persuade every voluntary organisation, housing and social work office, pensioners' lunch club, doctors' surgery and school to take our leaflets advertising the home library service.
Our delivery service is literally dying on its feet. It's the nature of the clientele: we take books to the elderly and disabled (some of our folks are both) and we've lost four clients in the past two years one way or another. But we're convinced there are possible clients out there who don't even know we exist.
We've stopped waiting for head office to take the lead on this. One of the Elder Park librarians designed an A5 leaflet and we've blitzed Ibrox as far as Paisley Road Toll and, on Thursday, Govan. Next week it'll be Linthouse and Drumoyne. Then we'll go back and see if the leaflets are being picked up - and leave more, if need be.
So it was just on school-chucking-out time when we got to Tina's cafe. The usual suspects were mostly there already, waiting for their weans. Once the kids arrived, the zoo started.
The lassie at the table behind us was totally stressing out about being short of time to get her boys to the doctor in Cardonald but she wasn't for giving up her roll n fried egg, tattie scone and beans or the boys' rolls n sausage, but settled for waving her arms about a lot and giving the occasional screech: 'Comeoan, hurry up!'
The table in front had the usual group: CiC (Care in the Community) and her two foul-mouthed pals. CiC is off her meds, as she has been telling us for weeks and getting louder every time we see her. She sits where she can see Charles. I keep telling him he's got a lumber there but I don't think he's keen.
The deaf old ladies were also in having tea and cakes off a very attractive wee cake stand Tina has brought in. Three of them, maybe in their late 70s, unable to hear at the best of times but adding to the bedlam by trying to drown out CiC and her pals.
One of the regulars, Ponytail, was missing but no sooner had a dozen assorted kids and parents come in than he appeared. He blew his nose dramatically as he arrived and shouted: 'Haw, Tina, ye'll need tae get me a coffee. A'm dying here.' Of course, that got everybody's attention and we noticed at once that apart from his shoes (with the laces trailing behind him), he was dressed for bed in a rather fetching pair of wine-red jammies with white cats on them.
By the time Charles and I had finished our coffees and rolls n fried egg, the stressed out mammy and her boys had gone, the queue had died down and CiC was quietly feeding her wee girls and herself Tina's home-made stew, mashed potatoes and cabbage. It looked very tasty.
Behind the counter, Tina was holding her head. 'You got a bottle o gin back there, Tina?' I asked as we were leaving. 'Aye,' she said, 'And I need it!'
Charles and I had been leafleting in Govan. Or rather, I was driving and Charles was leafleting, turning on the charm to persuade every voluntary organisation, housing and social work office, pensioners' lunch club, doctors' surgery and school to take our leaflets advertising the home library service.
Our delivery service is literally dying on its feet. It's the nature of the clientele: we take books to the elderly and disabled (some of our folks are both) and we've lost four clients in the past two years one way or another. But we're convinced there are possible clients out there who don't even know we exist.
We've stopped waiting for head office to take the lead on this. One of the Elder Park librarians designed an A5 leaflet and we've blitzed Ibrox as far as Paisley Road Toll and, on Thursday, Govan. Next week it'll be Linthouse and Drumoyne. Then we'll go back and see if the leaflets are being picked up - and leave more, if need be.
So it was just on school-chucking-out time when we got to Tina's cafe. The usual suspects were mostly there already, waiting for their weans. Once the kids arrived, the zoo started.
The lassie at the table behind us was totally stressing out about being short of time to get her boys to the doctor in Cardonald but she wasn't for giving up her roll n fried egg, tattie scone and beans or the boys' rolls n sausage, but settled for waving her arms about a lot and giving the occasional screech: 'Comeoan, hurry up!'
The table in front had the usual group: CiC (Care in the Community) and her two foul-mouthed pals. CiC is off her meds, as she has been telling us for weeks and getting louder every time we see her. She sits where she can see Charles. I keep telling him he's got a lumber there but I don't think he's keen.
The deaf old ladies were also in having tea and cakes off a very attractive wee cake stand Tina has brought in. Three of them, maybe in their late 70s, unable to hear at the best of times but adding to the bedlam by trying to drown out CiC and her pals.
One of the regulars, Ponytail, was missing but no sooner had a dozen assorted kids and parents come in than he appeared. He blew his nose dramatically as he arrived and shouted: 'Haw, Tina, ye'll need tae get me a coffee. A'm dying here.' Of course, that got everybody's attention and we noticed at once that apart from his shoes (with the laces trailing behind him), he was dressed for bed in a rather fetching pair of wine-red jammies with white cats on them.
By the time Charles and I had finished our coffees and rolls n fried egg, the stressed out mammy and her boys had gone, the queue had died down and CiC was quietly feeding her wee girls and herself Tina's home-made stew, mashed potatoes and cabbage. It looked very tasty.
Behind the counter, Tina was holding her head. 'You got a bottle o gin back there, Tina?' I asked as we were leaving. 'Aye,' she said, 'And I need it!'
Saturday 2 March 2013
The Chase is on!
I like quizzes. Tv or radio, doesn't matter. The only one I draw the line at is Round Britain Quiz on Radio 4. Too cryptic for me - and I can't understand why the rest of the UK has to pit its wits against a team from London who play in every game, thus building up loads of experience of that kind of question. Unfair advantage I call it. I even like Tipping Point, sitting there like a numpty trying to will the counters over the edge. And I watch Pointless because Richard Osman is amazing. The laptop in front of him is only a prop: he has a script but most of the facts are in his head.
I like Countdown - or I did till the recent all-time champions competition. All but one of the contestants were guys and most of the semi-finalists were in their late teens. Not that the age or sex of the contestants is a problem. It's more annoying that the boys know all the words but haven't a clue what most of them mean, can't pronounce them, aren't really interested in language and are mainly studying maths at Cambridge. On Friday the finalists spent the programme smirking at each other and not interacting with anyone else in the studio. They might as well have phoned it in. A wee touch of social awkwardness there, if not full-blown Asperger's. But I suppose Countdown is at least upholding the great British tradition of competing for a trophy - in this case a really horrible ceramic teapot that's bound to end up in mum's hall cupboard - and not for anything as disgusting as money.
Even when money comes into it, it's never very much. In fact, in The Chase, the contestants are thrilled to walk away with anything, since they can build up a great pot of money (I've seen £60,00 on the table) only to lose the lot in the final round. I'm amazed at the breadth of knowledge of the Chasers, but the competitors are pretty good too, given the range of questions they are asked. And they have to contend with Bradley Walsh, one cheeky chappie that needs a good slap.
So would I take part? Not a chance. I can't do conundrums, so that's Countdown out. And I'm useless at what Paxman once called sneeringly 'popular culture' on University Challenge: I don't watch soaps, can't identify a single 'celebrity', have no knowledge of boy or girl bands and hate sport.
But it says something that so many people are willing to take part in these quizzes - and prove to be quite good at them. Because quizzes are about knowledge, pure, undiluted knowledge. They're not about your ability to manipulate a games console or run a half marathon. Just about what you know inside your head and can recall and spit out in a very short period of time. Quite encouraging, in fact. Maybe there's hope for us yet.....
I like Countdown - or I did till the recent all-time champions competition. All but one of the contestants were guys and most of the semi-finalists were in their late teens. Not that the age or sex of the contestants is a problem. It's more annoying that the boys know all the words but haven't a clue what most of them mean, can't pronounce them, aren't really interested in language and are mainly studying maths at Cambridge. On Friday the finalists spent the programme smirking at each other and not interacting with anyone else in the studio. They might as well have phoned it in. A wee touch of social awkwardness there, if not full-blown Asperger's. But I suppose Countdown is at least upholding the great British tradition of competing for a trophy - in this case a really horrible ceramic teapot that's bound to end up in mum's hall cupboard - and not for anything as disgusting as money.
Even when money comes into it, it's never very much. In fact, in The Chase, the contestants are thrilled to walk away with anything, since they can build up a great pot of money (I've seen £60,00 on the table) only to lose the lot in the final round. I'm amazed at the breadth of knowledge of the Chasers, but the competitors are pretty good too, given the range of questions they are asked. And they have to contend with Bradley Walsh, one cheeky chappie that needs a good slap.
So would I take part? Not a chance. I can't do conundrums, so that's Countdown out. And I'm useless at what Paxman once called sneeringly 'popular culture' on University Challenge: I don't watch soaps, can't identify a single 'celebrity', have no knowledge of boy or girl bands and hate sport.
But it says something that so many people are willing to take part in these quizzes - and prove to be quite good at them. Because quizzes are about knowledge, pure, undiluted knowledge. They're not about your ability to manipulate a games console or run a half marathon. Just about what you know inside your head and can recall and spit out in a very short period of time. Quite encouraging, in fact. Maybe there's hope for us yet.....
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