The Chase is on!

I like quizzes. Tv or radio, doesn't matter. The only one I draw the line at is Round Britain Quiz on Radio 4. Too cryptic for me - and I can't understand why the rest of the UK has to pit its wits against a team from London who play in every game, thus building up loads of experience of that kind of question. Unfair advantage I call it. I even like Tipping Point, sitting there like a numpty trying to will the counters over the edge. And I watch Pointless because Richard Osman is amazing. The laptop in front of him is only a prop: he has a script but most of the facts are in his head.

I like Countdown - or I did till the recent all-time champions competition. All but one of the contestants were guys and most of the semi-finalists were in their late teens. Not that the age or sex of the contestants is a problem. It's more annoying that the boys know all the words but haven't a clue what most of them mean, can't pronounce them, aren't really interested in language and are mainly studying maths at Cambridge. On Friday the finalists spent the programme smirking at each other and not interacting with anyone else in the studio. They might as well have phoned it in. A wee touch of social awkwardness there, if not full-blown Asperger's. But I suppose Countdown is at least upholding the great British tradition of competing for a trophy - in this case a really horrible ceramic teapot that's bound to end up in mum's hall cupboard - and not for anything as disgusting as money.

Even when money comes into it, it's never very much. In fact, in The Chase, the contestants are thrilled to walk away with anything, since they can build up a great pot of money (I've seen £60,00 on the table) only to lose the lot in the final round. I'm amazed at the breadth of knowledge of the Chasers, but the competitors are pretty good too, given the range of questions they are asked. And they have to contend with Bradley Walsh, one cheeky chappie that needs a good slap.

So would I take part? Not a chance. I can't do conundrums, so that's Countdown out. And I'm useless at what Paxman once called sneeringly 'popular culture' on University Challenge: I don't watch soaps, can't identify a single 'celebrity', have no knowledge of boy or girl bands and hate sport.

But it says something that so many people are willing to take part in these quizzes - and prove to be quite good at them. Because quizzes are about knowledge, pure, undiluted knowledge. They're not about your ability to manipulate a games console or run a half marathon. Just about what you know inside your head and can recall and spit out in a very short period of time. Quite encouraging, in fact. Maybe there's hope for us yet.....