Is this a yoghurt I see before me?

I'm waiting for a Tesco delivery. It was due at 7.45 but the driver phoned to say they'd had to combine two deliveries into one due to a shortage of drivers and he wouldn't be with me till 9pm.

Ish.

A small digression: I've been hearing about this driver shortage at Tesco for about a year now. What is up here? Do Tesco pay badly? Treat their drivers badly? They used to be a happy bunch of people, these drivers - chatty, keen to tell you how busy they were and how well their shares were doing. Not so much now. They put a good face on it but they're obviously under pressure. Maybe time for a change of management style.....

Anyhow, I've got a movie to watch tonight - and a bottle of Chilean wine to watch it with - but I'd rather wait till Tesco have been before I put it on. Well, actually, there's also the fact that I've ordered doritos and a dip and they're in the delivery van.

So for about half an hour, I've been watching telly. Avatar. I like sci fi. I hate the adverts on real TV. They seem to come up every 15 minutes and they go on and on and on.....

This is obviously a family film with family adverts because there's an ad for Cheerios and one for yoghurt voiced by Harry Hill. He talks about using 'twice the amount of milk' to make a really creamy yoghurt. I've made yoghurt. I used to live in a place where the Coop only stocked strawberry yoghurt so I made my own plain stuff. Had a dinky wee machine that made 6 at a time in glass jars with wee orange lids. Not an exciting taste but if you added fresh fruit or honey or jam or lemon curd (good grief, I'm drooling!), it was yummy. So a word for Harry Hill: you don't add 'twice the amount of milk' to yoghurt. It's the basic culture and the length of time you heat it that make the yoghurt set and turn creamy. Also, you refer, Harry, to a 'hand-picked' fruit compote under what looks like a fairly thin layer of yoghurt. Is there any way to pick fruit other than by hand? You're a scientist, Harry - well, a doctor - don't just read the script - tell the makers of Danio they're talking mince!

A wee break there: my delivery has been and gone at 8.45pm, the driver having decided to skip his 40 minutes down time in favour of horsing on and finishing early, so I'm switching off the blue people and the stupid adverts and putting on Seven Psychopaths. Wine chilling, dip and doritos to hand - and, a special treat, a wee box of Milk Tray. I'll get back to you on the total experience. Bonne soirée, tout le monde!