The mind goggles

I like watching Gogglebox (Friday night 9pm on C4), in which groups of 'real' people watch programmes on TV and have their reactions recorded. I'm not sure how the people are chosen for the show: there are quite a few families including one where 'the boy' never talks, a gay hairdresser couple (except in real life they are not a couple any more), two female friends, a pair of pukka drunks who run a B&B, a C of E minister and her partner + greyhound, a retired pair of teachers, a father and his two sons of apparently Asian descent (whose womenfolk never appear - where on earth are they?) and so on. The people come various regions of England, although I've yet to see anyone appear from Wales, Scotland or Northern Ireland. My favourites are the friends: Sandra and Sandy.

The groups are obviously told to watch certain programmes including this week the news, a documentary about 9/11, Strictly Come Dancing and X Factor.

I've never watched Strictly or X Factor, so these have been quite an eye-opener for me.

X Factor is a disgrace to the name 'entertainment.' This week Cheryl Cole keeps on two talentless singers but rejects the third who has a great voice and engages with her audience. The studio audience goes wild. The people at home watching for Gogglebox shout at the telly: Cheryl, what are you doing?! Well, it's perfectly clear what Cheryl is doing: exactly what Simon Cowell has told her to do. Does he own the franchise by any chance? She has stirred up a bit of controversy. Fixed the result. Pushed the TV ratings up. It's called manipulation.

Strictly is just as bad: 'celebrities' (a much over- used word in my book) are paired up with professional dancers, given some rehearsal time and allowed to make an absolute arse of themselves onstage.The comments from the Gogglebox people about Greg Wallace's dance moves were not flattering. I know why the mainly young people queue up to audition for X Factor, but why would established folk want to be on Strictly? Are they working on the principle that any publicity is good publicity?

I find myself sympathising with my late father who admired real entertainers, the ones with talent, but hated what he called 'cheap' entertainment: theatre shows or TV programmes where the audience were encouraged by some third rate entertainer to sing along, join in - or, as my old man used to put it: do their effin jobs for them.

Judging by the reaction of most of the people on Gogglebox, they don't usually watch TV news broadcasts. They judge the news by the same standards as the other programmes they watch: for their entertainment value - it's all chewing gum for the mind. The only time the people truly engaged with what was happening onscreen was as they watched a documentary about 9/11.

These are not stupid or uneducated people but they seem to have no critical faculties at all. Possibly they had to start with but have been ground down by decades of Allo Allo. Apart that is from Leon, the retired teacher. Leon asks questions and expresses opinions. His wife doesn't really appreciate his interruptions but I do. I would like to take this interruptions further:

I'd love to ask the producers of Gogglebox why they called it that, since it became clear in the last series that most people had no idea what the title meant.

I'd like to know what the people watching think of the mix of programmes they are asked to view. Did it occur to them that September was a suitable month to show a documentary about 9/11? Do they think Simon Cowell is simply ripping the piss out of young people desperate for a break in the music business? Is Strictly exploitative of people under contract to the BBC who can't refuse to take part?

But then there are so many questions I'd like to ask TV people, starting with why the BBC have packaged up a show 5 nights a week that appears at 7pm  - just before the soaps start on BBC1 and ITV - and is nothing but an advert for forthcoming BBC programmes. Does any other channel get to do this? Nope, because other channels depend on advertising for their money and advertisers wouldn't allow it. But the BBC is sustained by your licence fee and mine and can do whatever the hell it likes.