And to hell with principle?

Last Monday, I saw Diane off back to Colonsay after a week of culture, fine dining (out, not here) and plenty blethering. I like to think by the time we get to the end of these discussions, we've got the world put to rights, though I can never remember later how we did it. I put her bedclothes and towels in the machine, did a little leisurely dusting and hoovering and sat down with my paper and a coffee. The doorbell rang. It was a delivery man bringing my Nioxin shampoo and conditioner from a firm in Liverpool (the cheapest I've found). As I signed for the parcel, he looked down and said: 'That's a helluva lot of wine bottles for one weekend.'

To explain: just inside my front door I keep two bags: one for paper and plastics and one for glass. When I've filled these I transfer the contents to the big bags provided by the council which are kept in the outside shed. I was a bit taken aback at his comment but settled for saying: 'No, no, no - that's not from the weekend' (4 empty wine bottles). 'That's just last night.' He frowned. Before he could say anything else, I handed him back his wee machine and shut the door.

I was furious when he left, stomped around a bit, had a good swear. Because he had just displayed one of the characteristics of the Scot that I most dislike: this willingness to tell other people how to live their lives. In fact, to tell people off.

Maybe I've been unlucky. All my life, I've been on the receiving end of advice from people who mostly haven't a clue what they're talking about. There was the neighbour who disapproved of me going to university and my sister going to college. What was the point? he asked. You're 'only' going to have have weans and stop work. (Yep, it was the 60s - that golden age). There were the colleagues who tried to talk me out of moving to Argyll (on two occasions) because there was 'no point going there.' (Well, it wasn't Glasgow.) There was the friend who advised Diane and me when we were on our uppers (me a teacher and Diane married to a farmer) that 'you really need to have a couple of thousand in the bank.' Do I need to say this friend had gone from her parents' house to her husband's house on marriage and stopped work almost at once to have her children, safe in the knowledge that there was a secure wage coming in?

In the past month, I have had otherwise sensible people telling me I need to 'give it up'. That is, give up my wish for my country to be an independent nation. Just accept that 'we' lost the referendum and move on.

I was raised a socialist by socialist parents and grandparents. At no point did any of them say: Right, that's it. We lost the election. Our socialist principles have been rejected by the electorate, so we need to give up and move on. We hung in there and fought for what we thought was right.

Why would my aim of independence be any different? It's not a fantasy or an obsession. I haven't been infected by some germ carried by the SNP (never voted for them and probably never will; don't like Alex Salmond but see no reason to depict him as the devil; joined the Greens last month because they express principles I believe in). I have in fact carefully thought through why independence is the way forward. And the insistence by some 'unionists' on using the word 'separatist' to describe people like me is just annoying. Like the word independence carried some kind of infection.

Nothing has happened since the referendum to change my view: we still have Trident missiles 25 miles from Glasgow; we still face the prospect of more and more right-wing government with Ukip leading the charge out of Europe; not only are we not represented by the Tories and Lib Dems, we're not even represented now by Labour; I see the poor and the disabled victimised even more by government; I see the rich getting richer while we have coined the term 'the working poor' to describe people doing a 40 hour week but still needing tax credits (from you and me, the tax payer)  to survive. And let's not even mention the Tory councillor in Brighton who thinks access to food banks should be means-tested to stop people asking for food.

Something has gone horribly wrong in the UK and I would love to hear from people who voted no in the referendum if they are still confident in their decision, still believe we are better together and see a way forward for Scotland.