With the Madeleine McCann case back in the headlines, I'm coming across very unsympathetic comments about her parents on Facebook and Twitter. You know the style: they neglected their kids. Left them sleeping on their own. This was bound to happen. They should have been prosecuted for doing this. Worse than that: the parents are somehow involved in the abduction and probable murder of this wee girl.
So let's have a reality check: going on holiday with small children is no holiday. Even if you go to a place that offers a kids' club and a baby-monitoring set-up, it's still hard for parents to find time to relax in grown-up company - and when you've been working all year, that's really what you want on holiday. It's clear to me from reading Kate McCann's book and press reports of the crime that all the parents staying in their complex did as they did: put the kids to bed and took a turn in checking on everybody's kids. In other words, it was common practice - maybe it still is - and, rather than these parents being somehow the kind of psychopaths that would murder their own child - not something either parent had shown any signs of - it's quite likely the McCanns and Madeleine were unlucky enough to catch the eye of a predator or a gang of people traffickers.
Most of what I've said here so far is pure speculation, as is most of what is appearing in Facebook and Twitter right now, except (1) it's easy to be wise after the event and (2) looking after children is not easy, although there's a third idea I'd like to pass on to you: sh*t happens - and it can happen to anyone.
For 15 years, I took teenagers all over France on study visits. We had our adventures. One kid only ate baked beans and jaffa cakes at home and eventually collapsed in Paris, having eaten nothing, and had to be taken to the local hospital where a doctor diagnosed malnutrition and said wisely: He didn't get that in 10 days in France. Another boy was caught out of his room in the middle of the night - he'd already been warned - and rather than suffer the wrath of the teachers, decided to play dead at the bottom of a flight of 4 steps. Fell down and lay there like a slab of meat, eyes shut but breathing okay. Another visit to a hospital where the pediatrician decided to keep him in and take blood at 2 hourly intervals. Miraculously, after two jags, the young man came round and announced he wanted to go back to the hotel with the rest of the party. On another occasion, a group of 3 senior girls insisted on being allowed out late at night. They had good French and wanted to do their own thing. After the usual warnings: stay together, watch the drinking and be back by 1am, they set off, only to be brought back in a police car by a very concerned policier who was not persuaded they could take care of themselves. O, the shame of it!
Nothing serious and nothing the staff couldn't handle.
Then came the trip when the bus stopped in a picturesque village for us to have our packed lunches. We found a picnic area near the river and settled down at tables and on the grass in the sunshine to enjoy our break. Suddenly, we realised two kids were in the water. They'd been sitting on the grassy riverbank. One stood up and slid into the water. The second tried to grab her and he slid in as well. The bus driver took off his jacket and held it out like a rope to each kid in turn and pulled them out. They coughed and spluttered a lot, so I left the party looking round the town and took the two kids involved back to the hotel on the bus to have a shower, change their clothes and get a hot drink. While we were there, I let them phone their parents and tell them what had happened and that they were fine. I phoned the school and described the incident to the headteacher. We carried on with our trip with no further adventures.
When we got back to the school, it was 7am on a fine June morning and the headteacher and his depute were waiting for us. The parents picked up their kids and the playground emptied. And that was the moment I was told there was to be 'an investigation' into the river incident. I drove home numb, went to the loo and was physically sick. I knew what was coming. I'd been warned that this was a school where the phrase 'who's responsible for this?' was regularly heard. The blame culture swung into action. The staff who'd been on the trip were interviewed, as were some of the kids. The bus driver was phoned at home to get his view. The questioning was not friendly. A report was written. I was asked to sign it and refused. It wasn't my report and I disagreed with the conclusion that 'Staff should take care to assess the safety of areas chosen for pupils' free time.'
No one was guilty of anything in our wee incident. We were in a designated picnic area. The kids were not horsing around. It just happened. Luckily, in our case, with no harm to anyone. The McCanns weren't so lucky. I have three wishes for the McCann family: that they find out what happened to Madeleine; that they get her back; and that if she was taken by paedophiles, she is dead.
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