Dear Mr Carmeron...

...I see on tonight's news that you're getting ready to reshuffle your government and I want to make sure you know I'm ready to help out if I can. I admit I can hardly say the word Tory without sneering, but you have a few colleagues with the same affliction so that surely will not disbar me from holding office.

So let's consider what I could contribute to your cabinet.

I'm not rich. That could be a problem, since I've read on Facebook tonight that 87% of MPs are millionaires. I'm not sure where this figure comes from. I know a few MPs socially and if they're millionaires, they've kept it very quiet in the lounge bar. I've often lamented that I lack the gene for making money. I also now regret 35 years of work in the public sector. What can I say? It seemed like a good idea at the time but I'm relatively poor in my old age as a result. I suppose it's a consolation that most people in the country are not rich but I suspect a legion of carers, police officers, teachers and nurses wish they too had worked out their career plans better.

I know what things cost. I recently had to give up drinking cow's milk and go lactose-free due to a problem with my gut and was amazed to find the cost of a pint of milk goes from 60p to a pound if you need special milk. This isn't covered by the NHS. Nor is the high fibre, low-fat diet needed by an elderly friend of mine for her diabetes. You know her and her kind - the scroungers living off the state after a lifetime of paying tax and national insurance. By the way, Dave, a loaf of decent bread costs 1.35.

I like the idea we're all in this together. In fact, I've known that was the case for a while now. having seen my family supporting their grown-up kids and grand kids for years now, subsidising their cars, homes and daily living - and trying to save for their own pension at the same time. And I just love how the government talks about young people 'going home' if they can't get a job or a place to live. Home being to their parents' home. Dave, be honest, do 25 year olds really think that way? Not in my world.

If you want to know what I most dislike about the current crop of Tories - you probably don't give a toss, but I'll tell you anyway - it's that you are living down to the view I used to hear about in my childhood. To you, it's all about money. You are people who know the cost of everything and the value of nothing. One of your colleagues recently claimed 3p in travel expenses to go 100m. Says it all. really.