History - it's all history

I like historical novels - I particularly like S J Sansom's Shardlake books and wish he'd write more - but I can't stand watching historical dramas on TV and in films. And not for the reasons you might expect. I can overlook the terrible dialogue, like this snippet from one of John Wayne's biblical epics:

- Truly this was the son of Gaad.
- Say it with awe, John.
- Aw, truly this was the son of Gaad.

I can even overlook the historical inaccuracy in almost all of the costumes: plunging necklines on women's dresses in ages that had women buttoned up to the neck or men wearing trousers centuries before they were invented. The absence of hats - yes, especially the absence of hats!

But it's the physical look of the characters that gets me. The latest extravaganza from the BBC is The White Queen.

Digression: what is this obsession at the BBC with the Tudors and now with the houses of Lancaster and York? Series upon series we get, all rehashing historical episodes we know never happened. It was all done much better by Shakespeare in his histories - why don't they show them?

Anyhow, The White Queen. Here are two photos:

This is a Lancaster or York woman painted at the time. Sorry, I don't know the difference between the two houses - and don't bother telling me - I'm working on a need-to-know basis these days. She definitely looks as if she lives an era when the life span of women was limited to about 40. 

And this is how a Lancaster or York woman looked according to the BBC. The lassie looks as if she's just off to do her shopping at Waitrose. Hair uncovered? I don't think so. V-front dress? Not likely. In the arms of a man? About 500 years too soon. And is she wearing blusher? O for heaven's sake!

It's not new, this inability to show people as they really looked in their own time.

Here's Greta Garbo in the movie Queen Christina in the 1930s:

And here's Queen Christina:

What do the original women have in common? They're wee, thin, pale - absence of sun being a way of showing you were noble-born and didn't have to work outdoors. They are well covered. And they definitely follow a different set of beauty rules from the ones that apply in the 21st century. 

Compared to them, modern actors frankly look too healthy. Not that I'm suggesting we starve the actors. But a token nod towards realism might be good.