Horsey, horsey

A short Question and Answer session on the matter of the great horsemeat scandal:

Q Is it possible for a supermarket to provide 12 beefburgers or a Findus beef lasagne for a pound?
A No, of course it isn't. But it is possible to sell horseburgers and horse lasagne to very poor people trying to feed their families who won't ask too many questions, and you can get away with it for a long time: I heard today that meat in supermarkets in the UK was last DNA-tested 10 years ago.

Q Could the horsemeat get into the beefburgers and beef lasagne by accident?
A Once maybe. Twice at a push. For 10 years? Not a chance. A trace maybe. 100%? No way.

Q So this is a scam, is it?
A Unless you have another word for it.

Q But who stands to gain from supplying horsemeat to abattoirs instead of beef?
A How much time have you got? People in eastern Europe and Eire with horsemeat they want to dispose of for money. People running abattoirs. People in other countries with contracts to supply meat to UK supermarkets, whose bosses want a profit. People on the supply side of supermarkets who will take a back-hander.

Q Is there a way to stop this happening?
A Of course. Only source your beef in the UK. And DNA-test it every year.

Q So why don't UK supermarkets and food suppliers source their beef in the UK?
A Because then consumers would have to pay a decent amount for good beef - and UK consumers want cheap food.

Q So it's the consumer's fault?
A Och, fault-schmault. There are a lot of people in this country either not working or only able to get part-time work or on minimum wage. I think jobseeker's allowance is about 65 quid a week. You're not going to be living high on the hough with that income. And supermarkets have shareholders who have got used to the company making huge profits, meaning big dividends for shareholders. Supermarkets will do many things to keep their shareholders happy - like squeeze farmers till the pips squeak. Remember the milk price last year? When farmers were supplying milk at a price that didn't cover the cost of feeding the cows? Remember the horrors of factory-farmed pigs, hens and calves? Yes, we do all of that here in the UK to keep prices down. And then we get excited about French farmers fattening geese for foie gras.....

Q Is it dangerous for people to eat horsemeat?
A Only for the horse. Lots of communities eat horsemeat. It's what's available and it used to be cheap. The French ate snails and frogs' legs because that's what was available to them and they were cheap. People in the Far East don't eat dog because they're perverts. It's what they can afford.

Q What happens next?
A Let's see how HM Government reacts to this. No sign so far of a minister stepping forward and protesting on behalf of consumers. Well, that would mean Tories criticising business and we can't have that. The disposal of animal carcasses through abattoirs is subject to very strict EU regulation so it will be good to hear what the EU have to say. Meanwhile, I'm thinking of turning veggie myself - or at least avoiding cheapo beefburgers and Findus beef lasagne.