A few wee rants

Feeling quite curmudgeonly today for some reason. Reader, at this point, you're supposed to say: You, curmudgeonly? That's not like you! But there are days when so many things irritate me, I hardly know where to start my rant.

Let's begin with the Hair to the Throne. What if we'd taken all the cash spent on his training as a helicopter pilot and trained someone else, say some bright kid from Tower Hamlets or the Falls Road or Castlemilk. Do you suppose we might have got a better return than the 7 year career Prince William had before he moved on to other things? I would recommend trying this. I would certainly recommend not wasting public money on people like Wills and Harry who have plenty of their own, having shared their mother's estate amounting, I've read, to 20 million quid.

Then there's the 'liquitabs' scandal. For some reason, in the west of Scotland, nine small children have been poisoned by eating these in recent years. Now RoSPA is handing out cupboard catches. Not fitting them. Just handing them out to all parents of 4 month old babies whether they need them or not, whether they use them or not. I say: if parents are so feckless they leave detergent capsules within reach of their small children. prosecute them. It'll only take a few court cases for neglect and some threats of investigation by the Social Work department for parents to realise they have to put these out of the reach of their offspring.

And then there's the eejit Ian Black. The even bigger eejit SFA have banned him for 10 games (but worry not, he'll really only miss 3) and he has to pay a fine of £7,500. For gambling on matches he was sometimes playing in. With the implication always there that match-throwing could have been a possibility. What the hell is the point of this punishment? He sits out 3 games but still get paid silly money. And the fine is nothing to him. I take it the SFA knows how much these guys earn? My sentence - if anybody had asked me - would be to make him coach a team of 12 year olds in a Glasgow secondary school for a year. Turn up for practices of an evening and for matches on Saturday mornings. He needs to connect with the real world and working with weans is always the best way to do that. Can I now expect abuse from Rangers fans like poor Jim Spence? Boy, I thought Neil Lennon was touchy!

Anyhow I'm off to have my home made spag bol. That's bound to cheer me up.