Nanny Knows Best

Last week I noticed on STV an 'infomercial' about recycling that urged me to avoid food waste by making a list before I go shopping so I don't buy stuff I don't need. It's great what you learn off the telly. I'd never have thought of that. This little gem of a film is no doubt paid for by the Scottish government - that is, you and me. I'd certainly never expect my taxes would be used to make films telling me this kind of crap.

Tonight on the BBC's Scottish news there was an item on how drying your washing indoors can lead to damp. And we know damp can cause asthma and other respiratory ailments. I grew up in Glasgow flats where washing hung permanently from the kitchen pulley and family life went on happily underneath. I now live in a flat with no outside drying area and hang wet washing in the airing cupboard in my kitchen, with the door open so it dries faster. How on earth have generations of Glaswegians survived the danger of wet washing? It beats me, but then looking at my family history I reckon TB, cancer and strokes have been the real villains in my family tree. Forget the washing - wet or dry.

I'll try to avoid cliches when I can but I can see two things going on here.

The Scottish government just loves telling us citizens it's all our fault. We're destroying our environment with landfill and plastic bags. Just as we're destroying ourselves. If it's not the fatty foods, it's the fags. If not the fags, the booze.

Secondly, I recognise the 'nanny state' when I see it in action. It's just so Scottish, this 'Ah tellt ye, Ah tellt ye' attitude adopted by the wee parliament in Embra. I'm not sure where we got it from. Centuries of religion - Cafflik and Proddie - that seems designed to keep us in order and stop us having fun? Or is it from our education which still has a big element of 'Don't think - jist dae it. Cos Ah said so.'

Whatever the cause, I've decided I'm a grown-up and I'll do whatever I want. That means I will wander the aisles of Lidl without a list, let my washing drip and eat my fried egg roll at Tina's caff on a Thursday afternoon. Oh, and cheers!