Scots Wha Hae!

I saw this picture in the Herald this week. These are the clan chiefs of Scotland, mostly looking absolutely splendid in their kilts. According to the legend under the photo, there's a Peregrine here and at least one Crispin. Good Scottish names all, right? There's a chap called MacGregor of MacGregor and another called MacDonald of MacDonald. If any of my mother's MacDonald family were around, I could ask them if we're related. Somehow I doubt it. These folk were in the paper because apparently equal rights legislation is endangering their ancient titles, which now have to be passed to the first born, not the first born male. This is probably the evil work of the EU. Most things are in Toryland. And they are very worried about this. Not that they'll end up signing on at the Job Centre, you'll notice. Just about their titles. Notice too there's gey few women here, although I do think the lady on the left at the back, complete with hat and crook, looks imposing enough to frighten most men.

Do you notice a note of sarcasm in my tone here? Too right. Do I care about these people and their titles? I think not. I was brought up to believe the landed gentry of Scotland were Eton-educated toffs whose ancestors ripped off my ancestors and appropriated their land, farms and houses and whose main skill lay in managing always to be on the right side in a fight so they could hand on their ill-gotten gains to their weans. They are I firmly believe parasites, using Scotland as a playground for a few months every year, hogging the best agricultural land and employing a small number of people on very low wages. Unlike a lot of Scots, the aristocracy haven't been forced to move to other parts of the world looking for work. No wait - the aristocracy might have had something to do with that...

Given how many of the aristocracy are pictured here, I doubt if their survival is in any danger. Last week too, I kept hearing about someone called Cressida Bonas. In fact, I thought her name was Cressida Bonus till I googled it. She's Prince Harry's new squeeze. Cressy - as she's nicknamed - is one of the children of someone called Mary-Faye Curzon. Mary-Faye is very well-connected. She's had several marriages to rich and famous aristos and as well as having 6 kids, she also has a clutch of stepkids. If Mary-Faye was on benefits, they've have offered to tie her tubes. But not for Mary-Faye the worry of welfare or the bedroom tax. She's well enough off she can spend her time getting her weans launched in London society. Cressy herself, no harm to her, may be a descendant of Charles I or II and Winston Churchill but she looks pale and vapid although she has studied - dance, as it happens. She and one of Fergie's gals are best pals.  

Land ownership, like quite a few other matters, has not been discussed in the independence debate. The clan chiefs and other landowners haven't - yet - told us what a disaster independence would be - you know the score: thousands of jobs lost, the countryside laid waste, and so on. Maybe they think they're safe. Not if it's got anything to do with the likes of me, they're not.